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UPDATING THE MEGILLAH
2018

Rabbi Peter Schweitzer
The City Congregation for Humanistic Judaism
rabbipeter@earthlink.net

According to the Talmud, when reading the Megilla for Purim, the list of the names of Haman’s ten sons (Esther 9:7-9) are to be recited in a single breath. Why? In order to commemorate the fact that Haman’s sons all died simultaneously. It also makes clear that none of Haman’s co-conspirators would find any refuge from justice. They were all in it together.

Here are the names of Haman’s sons. You can try out this one-breath challenge yourself. It’s not that hard.

Parshandatha
Dalphon
Aspatha
Poratha
Adalia
Aridatha
Parmashta
Arisai
Aridai
Vaizatha

In the spirit of the times, it is appropriate to update this ritual. A greater challenge, today, is to recite in one breath (or maybe two if necessary) the names of the 13 Russian individuals who were recently indicted in one fell swoop by Special Counsel Robert Mueller!

Yevgeniy Viktorovich Prigozhin
Mikhail Ivanovich Bystrov
Mikhail Leonidovich Burchik
Aleksandra Yuryevna Krylova
Anna Vladislavovna Bogacheva
Sergey Pavlovich Polozov
Maria Anatolyevna Bovdavna
Robert Sergeyevich Bovda
Dzheykhun Nasimi Ogly Aslanov
Vadim Vladimirovich Podkopaev
Gleb Igorevich Vasilchenko
Irina Viktorovna Kaverzina
Vladimir Venkov

It’s quite a mouthful, and maybe these malevolent players, unlike Haman’s sons, will go untouched. But we know, once and for all (if we ever doubted it) that Russians have been meddling in American politics. And their skullduggery, and that of Trumpian efforts to collude with Russians, will ultimately be revealed. We can eagerly await more indictments and more names to recite!